Thursday, November 17, 2005

- Learn to raise one eyebrow.
- Play "Preacher Bingo." (Thanks to Lissie for this one...)Draw your squares and write in them things the preacher will probably say - eg "Let us all be joyful!" "My wife will kill me if she hears this..." or "This one time, at church camp..." for example. If the preacher says one of your lines, mark it on your board. When you get a full line marked, instead of shouting bingo, jump to your feet and shout "Alleluia!"
- Distract the drummer by clapping on the off beat.
- Bring inflatable hippos, ducks, frogs etc. Ask people to pray over them.
- When you go up for communion, bring a large tankard with you.
- If you agree with anything the pracher says, shout out "PREACH IT!"
- Wear a minister's dog coller. Half way through the sermon run to the front, shouting "Sorry I'm late... traffic, you know what it's like...So if we turn to 2 Samuel..."
- If you're doing a reading, read out of Lord of the Rings instead. See if people notice.
- if you're preaching, recite Mary had a Little Lamb. See if people notice. Throw sweets to those who do.
- Go to Ethel Austins and bulk buy them HUGE knickers. Throw them at the worship leader.
- Fiddle with the electric organ's settings. Put the sound setting onto "banjo."
- Bring twister.
- Bring a spud gun. Fire it at late comers.
- Wear a pope hat.
- During open prayer, consider it your God given right to quote the whole of Deuteronomy. It needs to be heard.
- Tell anyone who will listen that Easter has been cancelled - they found the body...

1 Response to "How to annoy people in church"

  1. Emily Says:

    vickie, you truly amaze me! call it creative genious or slight insanity, whichever, i love it! keep it up...one day you just might take over the world...at least your world!

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