Sunday, October 22, 2006

I have just woken up from a nap, so excuse me if this post is unstructured, meaningless and generally pointless.

EDIT 23/10/06: This post is what happens when I let Matt play with my computer when I'm signed on to Blogger. This is what happens when I let Rob do the same, but with myspace.

This is my favourite car sign of all time. Despite not being a scrapbooker, I want to own one of these so bad it hurts. I would pwn all the other drivers with my mighty coolness.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

I've been suffering from a rediculous, disproportionate amount of guilt recently, all because of this blog. I feel bad for not blogging more, especially as I'm living it up at college and have so many scandalous tales to tell - then on the other hand, I feel guilty for feeling guilty, because surely I'm being quite prideful in thinking the world is missing out without my regular, pointless blogs? I don't know.

I like college alot. My room is nice, my church is fun, my lectures are enjoyable and my friends are bangin'. I'm eating well, showering enough, cleaning obsessively and haven't been mugged yet.

I'm trying to decide what to write about - there's lots of entertaining stories about the people I live with, but they'll no doubt find this blog so I'll have to restrain myself there. The stories about Rob and that flamboyant nun will have to wait for another time, however much it pains me. It was a good story.

Today another Rob showed me a brilliant website: Flirt to Convert. It's sister site, Date to Save has the brilliant slogan of "Dating to save people from Hell." The general gist of the site is for "hot Christian girls" to date "hot heathen guys" and lead them to Christ through making out with them. Confusing, I know, but thankfully the site has 10 top tips for effective ministery dating. Let's go through them.

1. If he tells your that you are hot... Tell him God made you hot.
I can imagine the conversation being not awkward at all after that. This woman knows how to get a man in the mood for some rampant hand holding.
2. If he wants to hold your hand...Give him a Bible.
Obviously, she takes several New Believer's Bibles with her on every missionary date.

3. If he tries to get closer...Tell him the Holy Spirit is wooing him.
This is my personal favourite. It would be a really good way of avoiding sex before marriage though, seriously.

4. If he asks to pay for dinner... Remind him that Jesus also paid a debt He did not owe!
I don't think she'll be getting any free meals any time soon.

5. If he reaches his arm around you...Tell him that nobody will ever be as close to you as Jesus is. (or ask him if you instead could "lay hands" on him in prayer)
And nothing will be as close to YOU, phycho lady, as my fist, as I crush you for being so unbelievably cheesy.

6. If he tries to kiss you... Remind him that a kiss killed your Savior. (and you're not ready to "speak in tongues")
That'll be a heart warming make out session indeed!

7. If he asks to come inside... Ask him if he has asked Jesus to come inside his heart.
Another good way of getting out of possible sexual situations! This woman has struck gold. Avoiding temptation has never been so much fun!

8. If he tells you he loves you... Tell him that Jesus loves him.
But you don't. Not in the slightest.

9. If he gets angry that you won't put out... Clarify to him that W.W.J.D. does NOT mean "Who would Jesus Do."
I often base my moral decisions on bracelets too, its ok. I see them as a higher authority than the Holy Bible.

10. After you dump him... Tell him that Jesus Christ will never leave or forsake him.
He'll definitely want to become a Christian then!

Over and out.