Friday, March 30, 2007

At work yesterday we had a goodbye party at Kidz Klub for two leaders who are getting married and going away. We had a bouncy castle and a trampoline and I manned the Kraft Korner. (I consider the overuse of "k" essential to all good children's work, by the way.) I'd bought some new pens especially from Tescos that were scented; seriously, kids have some amazing toys nowadays. The Kidz Klub Kids were very excited by all the nice smelling pens (Or stimulated by the fumes, at any rate...) and drew whiskers on my face with the black pen. It amused me alot. I went home with pen still on my face.

When I got home, I decided to have a nap before I picked up Tidy from the Trafford Centre. I flopped on the sofa and slept like a heavily drugged baby and woke up late, so I blearily ran to my room, got my coat and my car keys and set off. I had totally forgotten about the whiskers.

I arrive at the Trafford Centre 10 minutes late and start walking around the food court, madly searching for Tidy. People were staring at me and smiling and it took me a long time to figure out why. I felt a bit of a fool when I realised and had to slouch with my hair hiding my face for a long while to hide my blushing whisker face. Attractive.

Also, I saw 300. You should too. SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

On my birthday, we went to a waterfall called Aira Force and snuck into Lowther Castle. The pictures are pretty. The photo credits go to Kat D and Rob R.

















It was my birthday yesterday. I used to dread birthdays; I always felt under such pressure to have fun that I couldn't, just out of pressure. It always used to bring to light that I didn't have enough friends to justify a party or that my friends think I'm very odd, judging by their gifts. Thankfully, I have gotten over this irrational fear.

Yesterday Kat, Chris, Rob, t'other Rob and I went home for the day. There's some amazing pictures which I don't own yet, so I'll do a real blog with them later - I just wanted to share the reason why my dad embarrasses me sometimes.

We were all sitting in my living room drinking tea with my parents and my dad was telling me about a freedom course he'd been going to at church as part of the anniversary of the abolition of the slave trade. He was talking about how his "homework" was to bring back something connected to the slave trade to talk about.

Dad: I'm going to take Carl.
Vickie: Carl? My old boss Carl?)
Dad: No, the Carl down the road. The black man.
Vickie: Dad, you don't even know him. Stop being racist.
Dad: I do know him! He's from Barbados!

I hope my friends aren't too afraid to come back...

Friday, March 23, 2007

Someone left loads of hair in the bath today and it was really gross. It actually blocked the plug hole. I hope none of it has stuck to me.

It's my birthday on Sunday. Buy me large gifts.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

One of my young people told me I was their best friend today, so I told her to shut up to stop myself from crying. I love my girls.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Oh boy, I am such a fool.

So today, I was in town and I bought some totally cute Hello Kitty pyjamas. They're yellow and pink and lovely. The top is a tank top shape, and the bottoms are little hot pants. They're very comfy. My bedroom at college is boiling, so I figured they were a practical choice. Ask Christy, they were cute.

I came home from work tonight and there was no one else in halls. Things were deadly silent, so I had fun playing my own perky music on repeat. After a while, I get a bit sleepy, so I figure it's a good night to try out my new pyjamas. Because no one was in, I also came to the conclusion that I could hang out in the common room for a while before retiring to bed. This was my mistake.

I went to my room and put on the pyjamas. On my way out my room, I picked up a fleece blanket to keep warm. This is the only thing I did right.

Before I'd even closed my bedroom door, I met Brian. Brian, I'm sorry if I violated your eyes. I really mean it. For once, I wasn't trying to seduce you with all the flesh - I just wanted to join a few Facebook groups, and maybe read a little bit, all on my own. It wasn't what it looked like. I'm sorry.

Before I'd even made it to the common room, three grown men arrive. I'm not going to say their names because they seem fairly computer literate, and Google has pointed far too many people in the way of this blog in the past, but one of them is my house mate's dad and the other two are pastors that I've met a few times before. One works quite near my home in Cumbria.

This brings me to my current situation. I managed to run to the common room, wrapped as tightly as I can in my giant leopard print fleece to hide the fact that I'm wearing glorified yellow panties. I'm curled up on the sofa in the fleece, and the two pastors are having coffee and talking. They've already identified me as "the girl who dates Peter Rae's son." They've figured out which church I work at. They know who I am.

I can't escape without flashing at them. I think I'll end up staying on this sofa forever, because I can't get up. I'll get the sofa equivalent of bed sores. Someone, help me! Or bring me food, or a bed pan, or something.

I think I've learned my lesson.

My kids were amusing me at church this morning. I was sitting next to a guy who looked about 4 or 5 this morning. He looked a bit rough so I mas making a fuss of him and he kept on asking to play with the things in my handbag. I said no to the idea of him playing with my iPod, my phone, my purse and the money in my purse, then eventually gave in and let him play with my bracelets. There's only so much fun to be had with hanging bracelets off your ear, so he had a new idea.

Boy: Can I play with your skirt?
Me: No.
Boy: Take off your skirt!
Me: No! You don't say that to ladies.
Boy: Take off your skirt!
Me: That's rude! You can't ask that!
Boy: Take off your top!

Oh, my.

Another of my girls claims to have operated on her own foot. I thought she was joking until she showed me a bright green wound about the size of a two pence piece. Yeah. Still rather confused about that.

Another thing I'm confused about is a mysterious poster that appeared in my pigeon hole today at college. It was addressed to me, but there was no clue as to who it was from. It was a giant Gladiator poster from The Times, like this:


If it was any of you who sent it me, 'fess up. Also, thank you! It brightened my day!

As you go up the stairs at my college, there's portraits of all the past and present principals. They normally inspire me to be noble and search vigourously after the truth, but today they shocked me, because someone has violated Dr McGonigle's face with a GOLDEN MOUSTACHE.


Someone needs to 'fess up to that, too.

EDIT 13/03/07: Both of these things can be blamed on lecturers. Louise Kenyon is responsible for the poster, and the credit for the moustache goes to Peter Rae.

Reason #1


Reason #2

He so wants us.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

A couple of people this week have told me that they read my blog this week. I find this really cool in some senses, but in others I suffer dreadful guilt because I tend to fill it with poop. Hello, readers! Hello!

Nothing dreadfully interesting has happened in the past few days. There were some creepy men in the gym who walked past me 6 times in 5 minutes (I counted...) while I was working my back. Either that, or they were very lost. I've had loads of hangnails recently which hurt. My nails are pretty mangled now.

I'm watching a programme about ghetto kids auditioning for ballet. It's oddly fascinating. There's a guy threatening to batter people because he didn't get the role of Tybalt. I don't think I'm hardcore enough for ballet.

We're going to Laser Quest in a little bit. It'll be dreadfully exciting, I'm sure.

For the hundredth time this year, I can't be bothered to write properly, so I will write a list of things instead.

  1. I went to Ireland! For free! It was very pretty and very exciting. I drank wine on the plane (On the way back!) which entertained me more than it should have. We were speaking at a Nazarene Youth residential in Carrigart, so we got to go for free. Mine and Matt's seminar went well, other than the bit where I accidentally encouraged underage Nazarene youths to drink. Oops.
  2. I purchased an overlocker! This won't be exciting at all to anyone who doesn't sew, but I'm totally over the moon. It's pretty much a type of sewing machine that trims and finishes edges at the same time, and makes things look neat and professional. I got it from Aldi for £110, which is about a third of the normal price. Twenty four hours later I still haven't mastered threading the beast, but once I do my life will be changed forever and ever. Amen.
  3. I'm still not wearing make up. I wore a little bit once when we went out to Poptastic, but that was allowed, and I barely wore any. I'm feeling pretty good about it this week; I get 20 minutes more sleep in the morning, my skin is healthier and I'm more used to what my face actually looks like. Most people have been really supportive, other than the kids I work with who were very confused and offended. I think a lot of my identity for them was wrapped up in having bright purple eyes, which worries me.
  4. I made two cheesecakes. I'd forgotten to buy Philadelphia for the first one, so I used a bit of brie instead, so it tasted foul. The second one tastes good though!
  5. I decided I want to become a Stepford Wife, just so I can wear pretty clothes all the time and clean a lot. I hate myself for this.
  6. I made a new myspace layout. I hate myself for this too.