Friday, July 03, 2009

1. Ask for discounts on £10 watches. Then, insist that I check with my manager. That isn't how shops work! Go back to the market you came from. Seriously, do these guys ask for discount at Topman? Asda?
2. Call me over by clicking your fingers and pointing. I'm not a dog.
3. Return £9.99 silver chains because they "just fell off your neck" so are "obviously faulty."
4. Get angry when glued on crystals on a cheap watch fall off after "only" 6 months of constant wear. It's a miracle it lasted that long anyway.
5. When I'm in a cabinet serving someone else, put your hand inside, try to grab something and say, "While you're in there, can I just take this out?" No. No. Things are behind glass cabinets for a reason; you're not supposed to play with them on your own.
6. Try and bribe me into giving you discounts. An ugly middle aged man once offered to take me to dinner; other cheeky people say they'll give you a personal tip if they can use your staff discount. Is you saving £20 really more important than me getting fired? Also, been taken out to dinner by sleazy strangers is never a treat.
7. When faced with a tray full of neat, clean earrings, pull them all out quickly and rub them all over your sticky fingers. People have to put them in their ears! Stop it.
8. Be really snobby about buying display items. They're behind glass; they've barely been touched. Fair enough, check to see if they're damaged, no one cares about that, but things don't lose value just from being looked at. For example, if you get a watch as a gift, is your immediate response, "I sure hope no dirty peasants have looked longingly at this watch, or I won't be able to wear it and have any semblance of self worth left!"
9. Expect me to be magical. If you ask for engagement rings below £150, that's fine, but they're going to be small. I can't give you a 1carat, flawless diamond for £99.99.
10. On the same note, if you walk in and ask if we have any necklaces that say "Chanelle", don't be surprised if we have to order it.