Saturday, April 20, 2013

I sit down on the sofa. Everything feels tense, everything aches. My elbows are on my knees, my head is in my hands; I should be doing something, right? There are things that I probably need to do. That every other day - I remember this! - I find these things important. I look forward to these things. I can't remember why.

I remember that I normally get changed into something more comfortable. My suit dress is comfy enough. It fits. My other clothes don't really fit that well. Can I not just stay in my suit? I think it over for a few minutes and can't decide on anything, so I stay in my suit.

There are texts on my phone. I was lonely so I'd started a few conversations earlier. I decide that's pretty desperate and pathetic now so I annoy all the texts. I'm still craving contact; loneliness stings, but at the same time I wasn't enjoying any of the conversations I was trying to have either. I wondered if I had proper friends if I'd enjoy their company now or not; maybe if they were quiet, I decide. A calm evening in, I'd like that. Maybe a cuddle. I'd quite like a cuddle.

I remember that I usually cook when I get home from work. I'm not hungry, but I figure that I should eat anyway. Food might make me feel better. I went into the kitchen, then remembered why I don't wear my suit dress in the evening; I will make a mess of it. I go to the bedroom and get changed. What on earth do I wear? I know it doesn't matter because I'm staying in anyway, but god, decisions are hard. I need to be comfy but pretty enough so that I don't want to punch my reflection in the mirror. I put on the simplest dress I own. It sort of fits if you don't look too closely.

I feel quite productive for getting changed. I sit down for a while longer.

Sunday, April 07, 2013

Today I decided to try making a low carb bread alternative called oopsie rolls.

I love love LOVE making bread, and I've been missing it, so I was hoping that the oopsie making process might begin to fill that void in my life.

Making them was dead simple, and I thoroughly enjoyed whisking the egg whites til they were rock solid. The end batter didn't look a thing like bread though, to be honest.

While they were in the oven, I cleaned up (A painless process, I only needed two bowls, a whisk and the dish I separated the yolks in) and I could smell them baking; they smelt like cupcakes. I was very excited. They rose very quickly.

I was rather proud of myself, because the finished result looked exactly like they were supposed to, other than I'd made mine into nine small oopsies instead of 6 bigger ones.

They tasted... alright. Not of much.The consistency wasn't as heavy as bread, quite airy. It was a delicate flavour. I imagine it would work well as a base for a sandwich, or wrapped around some meat (ha, I went there). I'll probably finish up these plain ones with sausages or bacon as breakfast sandwiches, then I might try a batch with garlic and parmesan.

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Things I feel like I should want to do on my day off -

- Sleep in til at least midday
- Lounge around the house in my pyjamas
- Perhaps read, then have a nap, while eating ice cream.

Things I actually want to do -

- Get out of bed really early
- Go to the gym
- Do food shopping
- Ring work just to talk to people
- Get my eyebrows done
- Hoover and mop the flat
- Reorganise my chest of drawers.

Since when did I turn into the type of person that enjoys being busy?!